


Drowning Out The Past

by AlexTWDgf01



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love ❤️, Don't tag as Stancest, Feral!Ford, Guilty!Stan, Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experience, Near Drowning, Self-Blame, Sexual Assault and Attempted Rape/Non-Con in chapter two
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-22 06:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19662172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTWDgf01/pseuds/AlexTWDgf01
Summary: What happens when Stan's horseplay turns into a life threatening situation for Ford? How will Stan feel?





	1. Don't Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoy! Drop those kudos and comments for more chapters!

//Stan's POV//

Stan sighed as he walked out from his and his brother's shared bedroom. It had been a long day of nothing eventful, just drifting along the sea with no destination. I mean, don't get him wrong, an uneventful day every now and again was nice, but it tended to mean something bad would happen sooner or later. That's how it seemed to be for the Pines family.

As he moved into the kitchen, the absolute mess that covered what was supposed to be the kitchen table caught his eye. There was nothing but discarded piles of maps and journals covering it, causing it to look more like Ford's workbench.

Eyebrows knitted together agitation, the younger twin stomped his way towards the cabin's door, which led to the deck of the boat. As he opened it, he noticed his brother scribbling in that dumb journal near the railing as he watched some weird sea horse swimming around in the water.

"How many times do I have to tell you ta get your nerd stuff offa the table?" Stan asked in annoyance.

"Huh?" Ford asked in unexpected surprise as he turned to face his twin.

"Don't act like the oblivious scientist. The table's not for your journals and maps. I's for eating." Stanley said, rolling his eyes.

Ford gave a look of recognition towards the youngest's word before turning back towards to water.

"Calm down, Stanley. I'll clear them away in a moment. I need to finish my sketch of this Hippocampus." Ford said dismissively as he went back to sketching.

Stan glared at the back of his brother's head in displeasure. Why did he have to be so hard headed? He needed to get some payback for Ford blowing of the chore to draw that stupid hor-. A mischievous grin plastered itself over his face as an idea occurred. Slowly, he trudged closer to him.

"Well,..." Stan said in his showman voice, causing Ford to turn back towards him. "why don't you have a closer-"

"Stan?" Ford questioned skeptically as Stan placed a hand against his chest.

"-look!" Stan finished with a grunt as he shoved his brother back, over the railing

//Ford's POV//

Ford grunted from the force of his brother's hand shoving into his chest. He felt as his legs tripped over the railing, sending him overboard. As he fell, he looked down and saw the sea getting closer and closer. His eyes widened in fear as memory resurfaced just before he hit the water.

\-----------------------------------------------

Glass Shard Beach, 1962

"Come on, Sixer. Imma teach ya how ta swim." Stan said with determination as he pulled his twin into the water.

"Wha-no, Stan, I've already tried. I can't swim." Ford urged as he pulled out of his brother's grip, just as his feet hit the water.

"Aww, come on! You've jus' never been taught the right way." Stan said. "Just try."

"I...I don't know." Ford said nervously, hiding his hands behind his back.

"It'll be fun! Plus, if we're gonna sail away from this dumb town, ya need to know in case you fall overboard." Stan explained.

"I guess..." Ford whispered, still staring uncertainly at the water.

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Stan said flamboyantly as he offered his hand.

"...You promise?"

"I promise."

With a curt nod, Ford took his twin's hand and followed him out, waist deep in the water. Stan started off by showing him how to doggie paddle, figuring it might be easiest. 

Ford tried kicking his hands and feet in coordination as the younger had shown him, though it wasn't as easy as it seemed. He struggled to keep his head above the water and every time, resulted in standing back up on his feet.It took several tries before he started to get the hang of it and a victorious smile grew across his face.

"S-Stanley! I'm doing it! I'm-"

Suddenly, he was cut off by a large wave crashing over his head, causing him to be knocked over. As he flipped around in the shallow water, Ford found himself being dragged out by the undertow. Stomach clenching with fear, he fought against the current to swim back up to the surface, only ending with him being flipped and thrown around by the current.

During that time, he made the mistake of inhaling, causing him to choke as water entered his lungs. He clamped his hands over his throat at the burning and suffocating feeling. He wanted to try swimming back up, but he was in too much panic as his lungs became even more full with water. 

Eyes widening, he started to convulse, body no longer able to tolerate the lack of oxygen and lungs full of water. His vision started darkening around the edges as the world became tuned out from him. However, just before his eyes could close, he caught sight of a small hand nearing him.

'Stanley?' he thought before his eyes shut.

\-----------------------------------------------

//Stan's POV//

Pacific Ocean, Now

"HAHA! That's what you get! Shoulda done what I said, nerd." Stan laughed as his twin fell into the water.

Maybe this'll teach Ford a lesson to do his chores. He should have listened, but he wanted to be a bullheaded man. Shaking his head, Stan leaned against railing as he waited for the other to resurface. He'd probably cuss him like a sailor.

Though, as Stan waited, he never came up. 

"Oh, haha, Ford. You think your gonna scare me into jumping in too? Been there, done that. I'm not falling for it." Stan said as he rolled his eyes again.

He waited a little longer and Ford still didn't come back up. But Stan wasn't starting to worry cause, nope, he wasn't getting his leg pulled. 

"You can drop the act, bro."

He waited longer and still nothing.

"C-come on, Stanford."

Nothing.

"This isn't funny."

Air bubbles popped as they met the surface.

"Shit!" 

Throwing his glasses carelessly on the deck, Stan vaulted over the rail and dove into the water below. His ears popped a bit when he hit, but ignored it entirely. He needed to find Ford. He swam deeper into the depths of the ocean, eyes scanning frantically around for his brother.

It didn't take long before he saw a familiar six fingered hand floating in the shadows just a few feet under him. He quickly swam towards it and began to see Ford. He was starting to convulse from inhaling the ocean water. With fear and determination in his eyes, Stan grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him close, wrapping the elder's arms around his neck. Holding him tightly with one arm, he propelled them back up.

He gasped as they resurfaced, Ford's head jerking back as he immediately started coughing up buckets of water over Stan's shoulder. He patted the eldest's back, waiting patiently as he expelled all of the water from his lungs and catch his breath.

After a few minutes of loud wheezing and exhausted pants, Ford rolled his head back weakly to face his twin, still keeping his arms wrapped securely around Stan's neck. He looked terrible. He was somewhat pale, hair wet and disheveled, eyes a bit bloodshot, wheezing weakly. It made Stan's heart ache.

"Sixer, what happened?!" Stan exclaimed. "Why didn't you come back up? You act like you can't...you can't-" Stan cut himself off as realization struck.

\-----------------------------------------------

Glass Shard Beach, 1962

Stan spit water from his mouth like a fountain when he his head popped back out of the water. He laughed to himself at the memory of Ford being smacked by that wave.

"Haha! Gee, Ford. Ya shoulda seen your face when-Sixer?" Stan stopped mid sentence when he realized his brother was no where to be seen. "Where'd you go?"

He glanced around the water a moment and the beach. No Ford.

"Hmm."

Taking a deep breath, he stuck his head under the water. He scanned the area for a moment before his eyes caught sight of Ford being dragged out where the water was well over their heads.

Hurriedly, Stan took in another quick breath as he dove under and swam after him. As he got closer, he noticed that Ford was clawing at his throats in desperation. 

He inhaled the water.

With new vigor, he sped up, reaching out for his brother's hand when he was mere inches away. He grabbed him, wrapped Ford's limp arms around his neck, and swam to the surface.

Stan took in a deep breath when he felt the water leave from around his face. To his horror, Ford didn't.

"Hey, Ford. You can breathe now. We're above the water." Stan said.

There was no reply.

"Come o-on, bro. Say something." Stan said worriedly, patting his back.

Nothing.

"Ford. Please breathe." Stan begged, patting him a bit harder.

Still nothing.

"W-wake up!" he yelled scaredly, smacking his hand against his back.

"HACK!" 

Ford woke, retching water harshly, causing tears to form at the corners of his eyes.

"You're okay. You're okay." Stan reassured, for Ford or himself, he wasn't sure.

Ford shook with panicked sobs, holding onto Stan for dear life. He buried his nose between one of his arms and his brother's neck.

"D-don't le-et me go." Ford whimpered out between rigid sobs.

"I won't. I prom-...I-I won't." 

\-----------------------------------------------

//Ford's POV//

Pacific Ocean, Now

"Oh my gosh! Stanford, I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to-I didn't know that-I forgot." Stan rambled, both fear and guilt gripping at his heart.

Ford gritted his teeth as a chill swept over his skin from the cold. He gave Stan a forlorn look. He wanted to say something, anything to assure his brother he didn't know, it wasn't his fault, but he was still too startled from the plunge and near drowning.

"Are...are you okay? I'm so so sorry." Stan apologized brokenly.

He couldn't take it anymore. His twin needed reassurance. Carefully, Ford rested his forehead against Stan's, nuzzling him as if in a way of saying 'it's okay.' The youngest just stared at him for a long time before copying his actions. After a few moments, they pulled their heads back.

"We need ta get outta the water before we catch our death." Stan said, about to swim them back to the boat.

"D-don't let go of me." Ford stuttered out.

Stan wrapped an arm tightly around his twin.

"I won't."


	2. Snakes and Self-Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ford finds his brother in a bar, he discovers he's been roofied by someone from his past time on the streets. And when they finally return to the Stan O' War II, drunk Stan opens up.

It had been a week since the incident. They had docked out on the Gulf of Mexico to restock and rest for a few days. During this time, Ford noticed how Stan had become more reserved lately. He didn't talk much, tended to keep several feet of distance between his brother, he hadn't even touched him. 

His odd behavior started having Ford worry. 'Why is he avoiding me?' he thought. He left a mental note-to-self to discuss it with his brother when he got back from town. So brushing it aside, he went back to cataloging his findings on Selkie from earlier that day.

As minutes bled into hours, he started worrying why Stan has yet to return. I mean, it was nearly nine. He'd been gone for over three hours. Surely, looking for a souvenir for the kids shouldn't take this long. 

Setting his journal down, Ford got up, deciding he'd best go find his twin. He locked the cabin door and headed straight to town. He passed several small grocery shops, diners, and other establishments that were closed. This just caused even more suspicion. 

He walked around for twenty minutes, never stopping his search even when a few shady men started yelling crude things in Spanish his way. Just when Ford's worries were starting to grow more and more for his twin's safety, he heard a familiar, gruff yell coming from inside a nearby bar.

With a bit of anger and worry, he strode swiftly into the two story bar. He glanced around at the drunken patrons before his eyes landed on Stan and he gasped. His brother was pinned against the wall with a another man's leg pressed dangerously against he groin.

"Come on, kitten. You know you still owe me from back in '78. This is the easy way out for you so we may be even." the biker said as he nipped at Stan's ear.

"GAH! Fuck off, Jimmy!" Stan growled angrily as he tried weakly pushing him away. 

"Oh, don't be that way. You know you like it, ya little bitch." Jimmy said rolled his hips and ran a hand down near Stan's groin.

"S-stop!" Stan begged pathetically as tears started to well.

Ford saw red.

"Hey, asshole!" Ford yelled, speeding over to the man. "He said STOP!"

He pulled back his right fist and socked the biker square in the jaw, effectively knocking him off Stan. His brother nearly fell to the ground from how badly his knees were shaking, but Ford managed to catch him, then quickly push him behind him as the biker turned his attention back to them. 

"Who the HELL do you think you are?!" Jimmy yelled, eyes seeming to blaze like fire.

On cue to the biker's raged yelling, everyone, even the drunks, cleared from the bar. 

"His brother. And exactly who do you think YOU are, trying to make a move on him?" Ford asked, keeping his arm held up protectively in front of Stan. 

"Oh, he wanted it. You could just hear the lust in his voice." Jimmy purred, grinning at how Stan flinched.

"The only thing I heard in his voice was fear as he told you to stop!" Ford seethed, glaring the man down.

"That was all put on. I know how he likes to put on a show." Jimmy said, stepping close enough to reach out towards Stan.

Ford growled in warning as he felt his brother begin to shake behind him. Luckily, Jimmy had enough since to retract his hand. 

"Don't touch my brother."

"I can do as I please." Jimmy said.

"Step aside or I'll dangle you over the edge of this building." Ford warned.

"The hell you will."

..........................................................

"Are you insane?! Put me down!" Jimmy yelled as he was dangled over the bar's balcony.

"Gladly." Ford smirked, loosening his grip on the biker's legs to allow him to slip down a few inches.

"WOAH! I-wait! That's NOT what I meant!" 

"Then choose your words more carefully." Ford said. "Now, I would appreciate it if you'd apologize to my brother."

"The hell? No way!" 

"Oops." Ford says as he slips his grip down to Jimmy's ankles.

"Aright, alright! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Stan!"

"No means no." Ford added, giving a slight jerk.

"No means no!" 

The crowd of bar patrons below laughed at Jimmy, pointing at him as they rolled on the ground. Stan gave a light chuckle as Ford smirked, pulling the biker back up and tossing him several feet away with strength a normal man his age wouldn't have. With one last glare in his direction, the brother walked out of the bar and started back to the boat.

"Are you okay, Stanley?" Ford asked once they were several blocks away.

"M' fine." Stan replied sluggishly, stumbling every so often.

"Stan, are you drunk?" Ford asked, anger seeping into his voice.

"Some'n'."

"How could you go and get drunk?!" 

"I only ha' one drin'. I thin' 'immy slipped somethin' in it." 

"Oh...who was he? You seem to know him." Ford asked curiously.

"I got cau' up inna drug bus'. The boss blame' me fer it an' put a boun'y out on mu capture. Jimmy help' me get outta Mex'co, bu' he wanned some...things in return." Stan replied, leaving the 'he wanted sex' hanging silently between them. "I w's able to high tale it away aft'r got to the border bef're I had ta repay 'em."

Ford went silent during his brother's quick, slurred backstory with the biker. It made him sick to think about that man's intentions towards Stan, after over thirty years.

..........................................................

"Here's some aspirin and water. I don't know what he slipped in your drink, but I can guarantee you'll be hung over in the morning." 

Stan took the aspirin, staring at his brother's bandaged hand for a long moment before taking it with water. Ford sat down beside him on his bed, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, but the other flinched, scooting away. With a look of hurt, he let his hand fall onto the bed.

"Look, there's a few things I need to discuss with you, but I'll wait until morning. Get some sleep, Stanley." Ford said as he stood, turning out the lights before going to his own bed.

It was maybe just a few hours later when he was woken by the scream of his name. His eyes snapped wide open as he shot up in bed.

"Stanley?!" he called out worriedly as he leant over and turned on his lamp.

Stan was sitting up in bed, back rim rod straight, sheets a tangled mess, eyes wide and haunted with tears cascading from them. He was so disheveled, he looked terrible. It made Ford's heart to break. He gave his brother a sympathetic look, though not knowing what night terror had haunted him tonight.

With a loud sniffle, Stan stood and strode the short distance to his twin, hunching over to grab handfuls of his shirt and carefully bury his face against his shoulder. Ford cupped his head in his hands, rubbing his thumb over Stan's cheek.

"Shh, shh, shh." Ford quietly hushed his twin as he heard a few faint sobs. "Bill's gone. The kids are safe. You're safe."

Stan continue to sob for a while, breaths uneven. He eventually calmed down enough to speak.

"Wa-wasn't Bill...was you. You d-drowned!" Stan cried, breathing becoming heavy once more.

Ford gave a look of surprise at that, brows furrowing in thought. Then, he gave his brother another sympathetic look as he ran his fingers from his injured hand through Stan's hair.

"It's okay. I'm okay...we're okay." Ford reassured, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of his twin's temple. "You saved me, Stanley. I'm right here. Stanford's here."

Gritting his teeth, Stan pulled back from the other, falling back on his butt. He looked up at Ford with wide eyes, crawling backwards to get away.

"I- I caused it. I p-pushed you in. I alm-mos' killed you!" Stan exclaimed, breathing picking up. "How c-can you say th-that I saved you when I'm t-the one 'ho caused it?!"

"Stanley, easy." Ford said as he began walking over to his twin. "It's alr-"

"S-stay back!" Stan yelled, causing Ford to freeze up. "I don't want you t-touching me! I...I don't need ta touch you."

"Why? Have...have I done something wrong?" Ford asked, hurt clear in his voice.

"Wha-NO! You didn' do anythin' wrong, I did!" Stan cried. "I hurt you! I-I almost killed you 'cause I was bein' an i-idiot, like always."

The room went silent at that, aside from Stan's heavy breathing and broken sobs. Ford continued staring at his brother, not knowing what to do. Is this why he had been distancing himself?

"Stan..." Ford whispered, causing his drunken, sad twin to look back at him, but avoided eye contact as he had been. "Is-is that why you've been acting different? Why you haven't come near me?"

Stan looked back down at the floorboards as tears cascaded endlessly down his face. He sat like that for a moment, silently, before giving a slight nod. Ford sighed sadly, biting his lip as he thought of what he should do. 

"I almost los' you. I can't g-go through tha'. N-not again." Stan whimpered out.

"You won't have to." 

Without a second thought, Ford enclosed the small distance between them and hugged his twin. Stan tensed up in response, beginning to shake worse as he fought the urge to hug him back.

"N-no! Ford, you have t-to-"

"Lee, it's okay. You won't hurt me. I trust you." 

Stan screwed his eyes shut as he tried to restrain himself, trying so hard not to touch his twin. But when Ford placed another kiss against his hairline and tightened the hug, he broke. Throwing his arms around the other's waist, he let pained, unfiltered sobs escape his lips.

Ford rubbed his back reassuringly, shushing him as he sobbed. He told him everything would be okay. That he wasn't going to lose him. Stan just continued to cry for what felt like hours until he couldn't any more. Though, when he'd finally stopped crying, he felt...odd.

"Ford, I don't feel so good." Stan said, resting his forehead against the other's chest.

"What's wrong?" Ford questioned, rubbing his shoulder.

He got his answer when his brother retched all over him. Ford pulled back in surprise, keeping a hand on Stan's shoulder so he wouldn't pitch forward. He saw that the puke had cover his chest and lap. Great.

"'M sorry." 

"Don't be. It's fine." Ford sighed, looking up at his twin. "Come on, back to bed you go."

Ford helped his brother back to bed, noticing a bit of spittle on his chin and wiped it away with his sleeve. Couldn't make it smell any worse. Once Stan was situated, he grabbed a clean set of clothes and changed in the bathroom, coming back to their room with bucket.

"Just in case." he said, placing it by his twin.

**Author's Note:**

> In the flashback, when Stan was about to say I promise, he cut himself off because he'd early made a promise not to let anything happen to Ford...and he wasn't able to keep it. He was afraid if he made another promise, he wouldn't be able to keep it.


End file.
